Love is not abuse

Love is not abuseSo many people confuse love and abuse; confuse abuse for love! Love is not abuse, love is not abusive and abuse is not love!

Everybody, direct or indirect has been abused. Abuse has multi faces and forms. It can be physical, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, social, political, financial…

To go bit deeper, if we truly want to be honest, we have also abuse others even if it was in a very light way…and usually we do it very much consciously, in a calculated way! True?

Let’s remember what love is, isn’t, does or does not do:

1Corinthians 13v4-7

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Let’s see now what abuse is, what’s the definition of abuse:

Use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse

To hurt or injure by maltreatment; ill-use.”

Simple mathematics! Just compare the definitions of love and abuse: it is obvious that they are exactly the opposite!

In fact, it is easy to know whether we abuse or we love: abuse is maltreatment, ill-use, misuse. From the other hand, one says that he is hurt so he is abused. Is it true? We need to go deeper and reflect to all the background, as someone might “feel” hurt without really being maltreated. He just uses his hurt to abuse the other. Yes, it can be complicated!

Abuse is a wide subject and I just try to highlight few points for thinking/chewing over. There are amazing people who can help us. It can’t be said in a better way:

One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”
Michael J. Fox

That’s a so true statement! It is always about choice. We won’t avoid abuse, especially when we can’t even think that it is there. At times, we are abused but we do not see it or we deny to see it. Yet, all signs are there. We sometimes consider it love! Imagine! There are women in this world who believe that their husbands beat them out of love. If they don’t beat them, means that they are indifferent and they do not care and love.

When we are abused, one thing we lose is dignity and confidence. We need to remember that soon or later we move out of abuse – we can do this – and our dignity will always be with us, as long as, we do not surrender it.

The human race tends to remember the abuses to which it has been subjected rather than the endearments. What’s left of kisses? Wounds, however, leave scars.”
Bertolt Brecht

Another important point: abuse cannot be forgotten easily. I love what Brecht said… “what’s left of kisses?”. Still, when healing comes and it will come, we might not forget but we are not affected from the memory. We have a great Healer to take us through the process…

God wants you to be delivered from what you have done and from what has been done to you – Both are equally important to Him.”
Joyce Meyer, Beauty for Ashes: Receiving Emotional Healing

When we come to reconcile with God through Jesus Christ, our Lord, our God, we become new creatures spiritually, all sins and miserable mistakes we have done are gone, deleted from the book of life. At least, God deletes them and forgets them. We, not necessarily, forget or forgive ourself…But in time, through process we are freed and healed from all past, including abuse we performed and abuse we received. It is the will of God because God is love and there is no place for abuse in His Kingdom. Believers, we live with the Holy Spirit , naturally should be no abuse inside us.

But it is not always what it seems… so, we reach to another kind of abuse that sometimes comes from members of the Body of Christ…

1Cr 9:18

What is my reward then? That when I preach the gospel, I may present the gospel of Christ without charge, that I may not abuse my authority in the gospel.”

The authority abuse is all around, not only in the society, community or family but very much in the Church of today and seems that there were cases within the first church if we keep reading the New Testament Books.

In fact, abuse is connected with authority: the abuser stands from a point of power and authority “beating down” the abused. There is a moment when the abused realizes that the abuser has no true power but he/she is basically a bully and a coward – or suffers from serious mental issues. When the abused understands the each one carries his/her own power to break through, perception changes. I do not say that it is an easy thing to happen but it is the start of everything.

The same happens in the Church. Church is the Body of Christ and Christ is love, so there is no space for abuse. But it does happen all the time.

We ought to be careful where we are and mostly, as Paul examined/reflected on himself, be careful not to become the abuser.

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About LovingMinistry

Loving life, Loving people but mostly Loving and Serving Jesus Christ!
This entry was posted in faith, God's mercy, hope, inspirational, Jesus Christ, peace, trichotillomania, unconditional love and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Love is not abuse

  1. The TONGUE is an unique muscle in the body. It has no bone, it plays an important function in eating by the taste buds of the surface, and…it is used for phonetic articulation–“our words” we speak to one another. How that God given instrument is used, positively or negatively, is where the ABUSE can show up as you pointed out. James counsels us all in James 3:2-18. WISDOM from God’s Word and by His Spirit is where the control of verbal abuse is found. Where the physical abuse is in play, words are spoken before, during, and after. WISDOM is from above. Not in secular counsel, books, magazines. James 3:17-18: “But the WISDOM from above is first of all pure (undefiled): then it is peace-loving, courteous (considerate and gentle). [It is willing to] yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits; it is wholehearted and straightforward, impartial and unfeigned (free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity).” When that is put into practice, there is always a HARVEST. “And the HARVEST is…” (verse 18). I’m sorry if I rambled on here, but your words prompted my thoughts and Holy Spirit took it from there.

    • That’s why we love the Holy Spirit who takes us to more and more expanding paths. That’s why we love people of God like you who are sensitive to the Spirit and bring forward the word. Great insight, great scriptures. Thank you Mr. Detective!lol

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